Secular FAQ

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Q. You seem to be somewhat religious/spiritual/whatever. Do your ceremonies reflect that?

A. My spiritual beliefs will not be a part of your ceremony unless you request it.


Q. What does a ceremony involve if it doesn’t have all the religious stuff?

A. A typical American/western wedding ceremony can involve a processional, welcome statement, family blessing, speak now, wedding sermon/speech (does not have to be religious), consecration (a blessing of the ceremony, which wouldn’t be included in a more secular ceremony), exchange of vows, declaration of intent (legally required), exchange of rings, pronouncement, kiss, presentation, and then recessional.

At legal minimum, a wedding ceremony requires a Declaration of Intent – the “Do you take”  and the “I do” exchanges. I like to include the Pronouncement – the “By the power vested in me” to show that the couple is legally married –  but I don’t think it’s required.

I also prefer shorter ceremonies. 25 minutes to to an hour maximum.


Q. We’re not religious, but our family is so can you do a religious ceremony for us? Or insert some spiritual/religious stuff.

A. My role is to be the least stressful person at your wedding (hopefully). If you want me to throw in some scripture or some words about a specific higher power, I will do so but please remember that your wedding is yours. No one else’s.

You may also want to check out the Spiritually Inclined FAQ if this is your situation.


Q. Our families are pretty uptight. Is that going to be a problem?

A. As of typing this FAQ, I have shaved sides on my head and lots and lots of tattoos. It’s not a problem for me. I’ll do my best to be as presentable.


Q. We want to do an extreme wedding ceremony that involves jumping out of a plane/bungee jumping/hang gliding with our officiant. Will you perform the ceremony for us?

A. Nope! Have fun, though!


Q. We’re having a themed wedding – steampunk, fairy tale, circus, etc. – will you dress up in a costume?

A. Totally! Within reason, at least. I won’t dress up in any kind of insensitive or racist costume. And if your wedding is along those lines, you can probably find someone else willing to officiate.


Q. We’re having a wedding in another state/another country. Will you officiate our wedding?

A. Cost and time permitting, sure.