Secular FAQ

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Q. You seem to be somewhat religious/spiritual/whatever. Do your ceremonies reflect that?

A. My spiritual beliefs will not be a part of your ceremony unless you request it.

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Q. What does a ceremony involve if it doesn’t have all the religious stuff?

A. A typical American/western wedding ceremony can involve a processional, welcome statement, family blessing, speak now, wedding sermon/speech (does not have to be religious), consecration (a blessing of the ceremony, which wouldn’t be included in a more secular ceremony), exchange of vows, declaration of intent (legally required), exchange of rings, pronouncement, kiss, presentation, and then recessional.

At legal minimum, a wedding ceremony requires a Declaration of Intent – the “Do you take”  and the “I do” exchanges. I like to include the Pronouncement – the “By the power vested in me” to show that the couple is legally married –  but I don’t think it’s required.

I also prefer shorter ceremonies. 25 minutes to to an hour maximum.

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Q. We’re not religious, but our family is so can you do a religious ceremony for us? Or insert some spiritual/religious stuff.

A. My role is to be the least stressful person at your wedding (hopefully). If you want me to throw in some scripture or some words about a specific higher power, I will do so but please remember that your wedding is yours. No one else’s.

You may also want to check out the Spiritually Inclined FAQ if this is your situation.

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Q. Our families are pretty uptight. Is that going to be a problem?

A. As of typing this FAQ, I have shaved sides on my head and lots and lots of tattoos. It’s not a problem for me. I’ll do my best to be as presentable.

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Q. We want to do an extreme wedding ceremony that involves jumping out of a plane/bungee jumping/hang gliding with our officiant. Will you perform the ceremony for us?

A. Nope! Have fun, though!

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Q. We’re having a themed wedding – steampunk, fairy tale, circus, etc. – will you dress up in a costume?

A. Totally! Within reason, at least. I won’t dress up in any kind of insensitive or racist costume. And if your wedding is along those lines, you can probably find someone else willing to officiate.

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Q. We’re having a wedding in another state/another country. Will you officiate our wedding?

A. Cost and time permitting, sure.